My Head Space is Halal
‘And now I pronounce you halal.’
Halal to hold hands for the first time… ever. Officially engaged.
I got engaged on the Islamic date when the Prophet’s daughter, Lady Fatimah, married his successor, Imam Ali (a.s).
Basically, you could call him my halal boyfriend. I was in Year 12. A day after Valentine’s Day, I had myself a halal relationship. How wonderful it was that my parents, along with his, supported this early commitment!
What does this tell me now? When those holy words are pronounced and you say you accept, the skies in the heavens open for prayers! Isn’t this enough to show its grandeur? It’s very clear: early commitment means you grow together, heavily relying on one another. Relying on one another means you are truly an inseparable pair.
“We created you in pairs.” — Holy Quran, 78:8
Some might say I didn’t really live my life because I got married so early. But what am I to say when I gained so much independence, and the future meant I didn’t want a man who showed affection only by protecting me or providing financially? Why do we always want what we don’t have, or what we think we’re missing out on?
If anything, committing to a relationship at a young age awakened me to the world. It allowed me to see life from a more compromising perspective. I learned the art of communication. He is my best friend. Okay! I wouldn’t feel this way if it wasn’t mutual.
I could go on for pages, but the point is this: Mum and Dad did the right thing by me. They didn’t let finances or pride become obstacles. Instead, they guided and supported me in completing my education and gaining admission to university. I even got myself a job—nothing ordinary. My confidence was through the roof! I travelled to Bondi by train, working at Myer, Westfield Bondi Junction. Surely, I was the only hijabi! If you know, you know!
There you have it. I still gained my independence. The only difference is now my headspace is shared—in a halal way.
My parents continuously stood by my side like nothing had changed. Having a spouse at an early age is healthy. We have been built this way. God designed us to find a spouse and build a family.
I go to work not only confidently but with strong purpose. I go to university without worrying about social life, because I already have one!
I hope to provide that platform for my children, at whatever stage they are in life. To recognise this as a blessing is like discovering a rare gem, hidden beneath layers of heavy stones that only confidence and faith can lift. The same way Imam Ali (a.s) lifted the door of Khaybar and set us free—free from what the Western world labels as ordinary versus oppressed.
